My Reflection

Hello blogging world! I never thought I would actually be blogging! Not that it is a bad thing, I just did not really think about it being for me. Anyways,  I should give credit and thanks to a very good friend for suggesting that I start. She has known me for a part of my journey, and feels that it will help me be who I truly want to be. Let me explain.
There is a song by Christina Aguilera titled "Reflection". You may have heard of it from a Disney movie called Mulan. From the first time I heard this song I knew it was describing exactly how I was feeling. Here are the lyrics.
Look at me you may think you see who I really am but, you'll never know me. Every day its as if I play a part. Now I see if I wear a mask I can fool the world but, I cannot fool my heart. Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show who I am inside. I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart, and what I believe in. But somehow I will show the world whats inside my heart and be loved for who I am.Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I dont know? Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time, when will my reflection show who I am inside. Theres a heart that must be free to fly that burns with a need to know the reason why, why must we all conceal what we think , how we feel. Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide. I wont pretend that I'm someone else for all time. When will my relfection show who I am inside.
I look back now and think, wow that is pretty sad for a little girl to be feeling like that at a young age. But I did. That song was the story of my life up until very recently. Most of my life I did feel that I was who everyone else wanted me to be. When I would show my true self, I felt as if it was wrong to be the way I was because of the responses I would recieve. I have spent many night crying while listening to this song. Wondering when I would be able to be my true self. When my reflection really would show who I was inside.
Then I started prayer partnering. If you do not know what that is let me inform you. Prayer partnering is when you find someone who has been trained to pray with people. This person listens to your prayer time with God and assists you when you get stuck, or are feeling a certain way. Most of the time the person in need of prayer is praying through something that made them upset, memories, or other items God is talking to them about. It is a very difficult process, but also very rewarding. In the end you start to figure out a little bit more that God reveals to you, or the past He is healing you from. I have a wonderful friend who is my prayer partner and I do not know where I would be without her! She has been there with me through it all and I am very blessed that God sent her to me. Through prayer partnering I was able to heal from hurts of my past, memories, and other things that I am sure I will share with you in another post. Prayer partnering has helped heal me in amazing ways because God wanted me to be who I truly am.
Now that Reflection is no longer a sad song for me, I chose to use it as my blog name because that is what I want to show. I want to show people who I truly am. I know that I had to find that out for myself first before I could even begin to show other people. It was a long journey, but God was guiding me the whole way!