This post may be very vague, but I am going to try to explain it as best I can. I just felt like I needed to share what God spoke to me today. It was a great revelation annd brought me some much needed peace.
I am not a person who likes to think through things. Many times throughout my life I was given what I wanted right when I wanted it. Looking back I can see how that effected me in more ways than one. Not only was I looked at for being spoiled, it lead to a way of thinking that was not healthy. I notice that even now when I want something, I should get it at the time I want it. If not, that means I am not going to get it at all, or so I think. (This is not only meaning material things, but more like emotional things such as answers.) When I have problems I notice that I have the desire to figure it out right then and there. I think about it all day until I come up with an answer. However sometimes I don't, and when that happens my mind starts to run away with me and think about the problem even longer and feel like I am not hearing God right if He hasn't given me an answer yet. After this stage, I am lead to "well, maybe God wants me to do the thing I have no desire to do and don't want to do." In the end I am sad, frustrated, confused, and angry with God because how could be make me do something I dont want to do, or dont even like! ( I know that this stems from the fact that I do things to please people even if I don't like it, so I feel that God will have me not be my true self as well).
God reveled to me that this was not the case at all! He reminded me that thinking though things and not jumping on our feelings, or what we want at the moment is HEALTHY! He does not always give us what we want when we want it. But that does not mean that we will not get it at all. It means that you are given time to think through it. Think about the right way to go about it. Its just like when a child gets something that they want right away. When they act on imulse about something they want and you give it to them, chances are maybe 2 days later they want nothing to do with that thing anymore. The newness is over, or they really figure out it is not what they wanted afterall. That is understandable for children, but we as adults should be different. We shouldn't grow up still acting on our impulses. We need to think things through. Once you look at all the different outcomes, and what you really want, you will be more able to go after it in the right way and keep it. Not drop it after a couple of days. There are many things in our adult lives that we need to think about and not jump into. The reprocussions of our choices are bigger. A failed marriage, children, jobs, and many more things that we are not able to just say "oh well, I dont want it anymore. I thought I did."
God just really showed me that not having an answer right away is not a bad thing. It is a way to call on God and look for His guidence. We wouldn't need Him in our lives if everu time we had a decision to make we had to decide it then and there. Sometimes you won't have an answer until you take some action, and you know what? Thats ok! Even if you pray about it for a long time doesn't mean God will give you an answer without taking action. You may need to try one thing or another and just keep praying. He will guide you what to do. But you will have to make choices and mistakes. But guess what?? That's ok too!!
Don't be fooled like me and stuck in a childish way of thinking. You don't need answers right away, and just because you have to think about it doesn't mean the answer is no. Your being smart and thinking through your decision just like God wants you to. :)
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